The Life of an Aspiring Sociopath

At this point you are probably wondering what the hell you have gotten yourself into; you are not the first to ask that question. Well, sit back and enjoy the ride kiddies...welcome to the truly strange, bizarre, sometimes sad, outrageous, unbelievable life of... The Devine Miss K. I may be a little psychotic, but I am damn cute.

Location: Silverdale, Washington, United States

Likes: My cat Lola (all cats) & animals. (Except snakes-yuk), writing, reading, traveling (I have been to Japan, China, Australia, Hawaii and Hong Kong.) I love Asian Architecture—I have a Kimono on my wall; The Disney Villains (I collect them) – Disneyland ( and world.) Comedy Clubs; laughing; snuggling; people watching; singing; painting; cooking; baking; (I am an awesome baker!)- being with friends. Talking, talking and talking. Teaching, kids, intelligent conversation and people….and dreaming. (Oh don’t forget sleep!) Dislikes: Liver, Fish, Star Trek ( but I LOVVVE Star Wars), commercials repeated again and again, slow drivers, inconsiderate people, bad smells, being cold—being too hot, computers that freeze at the worst times and milk gone bad.

Monday, September 26, 2005

Going upstairs ( 1985)

Well, after spending 3 days downstairs in the "real hospital," I have been moved upstairs to the happy little "Care-psych" center. Isn't that a cute little word for the nut house? I am told it is a stress clinic, but I think that being here will stress me out more! I get to relax here for 4 weeks and have people poke and prod at my head and try and figure out why I like to eat large quanties of aspirin and try and slice my tender wrists.

There is this really weird psychiatrist on duty, his name is Dr. Epp. He is so odd; he speaks liek he has a twinkie in his nose. He wanted me to take some MMPI test that has like 500 questions and I was in no mood to play "fill in the blank," so I ripped it up and threw it at his feet. I told the jackass if he wanted to know something about me, perhaps he should just ask. Enough with the psychological bullshit.
I like my roommate. Her name is Shannon and she is 16. Shannon is from Oak Harbor which is very close to where I live. Oh, did I mention I am the youngest one in here? Yes, yes nothing like a crazy 15 year-old. Most of the people are adults here except for me, Shannon, Rick and this guy I call the "Green River Killer." He is 17 and always wears this green jogging suit. One night he opened my door and I screamed " KILLER! KILLER!" Mind you, this was after I had taken my nightly meds, so I was a little zonked.

It sucks because they have this "smoking lounge," and I am not able to smoke with the others. The counselors asked my parents if I could smoke and they about fell on the floor. NO!!!!!!!! Of course, I should have seen that coming. A few months ago I had a cigarette in my room late at night, and apparently the smell permeated the house. In the morning, my father taped a cigarette to my door and with a cheery little note. The paper had a skull and cross bones drawn on it with the words, " SMOKING KILLS!" Subtle, huh? My father is not the subtle type.

Karen and Todd were supposed to come see me this weekend, but I am on this 7 day black out period. That pissed me off, so I decided to have a little fun. Yesterday when we went on one of our "recreational walks," ( essentially around the block) I found a couple of cute baby frogs. I put them in my pocket and took them back with me. Later in the day, I set them free in the hallway and had a frog jumping contest. OMIGOD! You should have seen the nurses freak out! " Where in the hell did these come from???" I think I gave myself away when I started rolling on the floor laughing. I was sent to my room and told I would be meeting with my counselor later in the day. OOOOh, I am so scared. Assholes. Bonnie, my case manager ( aka- counselor) is really cool. She laughed and told me this was not a place for pets. Sigh.

Well, I am off to dinner. I wonder what fabulous dining adventure I will have tonight. Man, I miss my M&M stash.


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