The Life of an Aspiring Sociopath

At this point you are probably wondering what the hell you have gotten yourself into; you are not the first to ask that question. Well, sit back and enjoy the ride kiddies...welcome to the truly strange, bizarre, sometimes sad, outrageous, unbelievable life of... The Devine Miss K. I may be a little psychotic, but I am damn cute.

Name:
Location: Silverdale, Washington, United States

Likes: My cat Lola (all cats) & animals. (Except snakes-yuk), writing, reading, traveling (I have been to Japan, China, Australia, Hawaii and Hong Kong.) I love Asian Architecture—I have a Kimono on my wall; The Disney Villains (I collect them) – Disneyland ( and world.) Comedy Clubs; laughing; snuggling; people watching; singing; painting; cooking; baking; (I am an awesome baker!)- being with friends. Talking, talking and talking. Teaching, kids, intelligent conversation and people….and dreaming. (Oh don’t forget sleep!) Dislikes: Liver, Fish, Star Trek ( but I LOVVVE Star Wars), commercials repeated again and again, slow drivers, inconsiderate people, bad smells, being cold—being too hot, computers that freeze at the worst times and milk gone bad.

Friday, July 22, 2005

Kunta Kinte

I rented the mini-series "roots" and am in the middle of watching it. Human beings are real assholes. I am just appauled at how we treat each other. Who decided it was okay to do this? I was rooting for the slaves when they tried to overthrow the people on the boat. I was sad when "the wrestler" got killed; he was awesome. Now, I know where that phrase " Mandingo Fantasy" comes from. The Africans had the Mandingo warriors.
We are prejudice against blacks and yet we pay big bucks for spray on tans...what is THAT about?

Thursday, July 21, 2005

Goodnight

You kissed me goodnight-
I said , "I love you."
You loved me too.

You bent down to kiss my soft stomach
There was no hardness or round fullness, yet.
Though you could not hear the heatbeat
You whispered, " I love you," to my pink flesh.

I could feel the changes.
Cells in my body were changing.
No longer was I one;
I had become two.

I needed you to be strong,
but you could not be.
It was not in your nature;
but it was in mine.

The room:
Small
Sterile
Cold
Uninviting
Where were you?

Suction
Pressure
Screams
Tears
I felt shame

You kissed me goodnight-
But I did not say I love you,
and you did not kiss my stomach
because now
there was nothing left to kiss.

Sunday, July 17, 2005

"You're getting old Joan..."

I think I am getting old. No, not because I have sand bags hanging from my eyes down to my feet or because the last time my breasts were even remotely perky is when the game "Pong" was cool; it is my patience that seems to be lost. Now, mind you I am not the most patient individual to begin with, ( noooooo! I know, I know you are shocked, as was I!) so becoming "impatient" is really not such a far fall. More like sitting down.

So, I am at the theater watching " Willie Wonka," which I KNOW is predominatley a kids movie, but still I held out hope that the heathens would keep themselves under wraps. Behind me sat Donald freaking duck. " Ha Ha quack quack" When he laughed he sounded like he had swallowed a live duck. Then there was the rather large hispanic family with the little boy who greeted everyone coming into the theatre with,"Hello poophead." God, aren't they all just precious jewels? I remember when I went to see the last Star Wars installment, STAR WARS PEOPLE, and this 4 year old sat next to me and just gabbed and made sounds the entire time.
" OOOOOOOOh big ship"
"Mommie is he a bad man?"
"FLY FLY FLY SPACESHIP!!!"
Finally his mother went to get him some popcorn or duct tape and I leaned over and said, " Don't ever talk durning Star Wars." " Why?" " Because they will put you in jail." ( Did I tell you I was a teacher and loved children?)
Okay, so I am a bitch....but it was STAR WARS PEOPLE!
I won't even get into the pint-sized snot factories at another movie I went to. JEBUS! Actually, I think it was the adults that were worse. Unwrapping paper loudly, talking, talking, talking, belching--oh, yeah, that's right I said BELCHING.
What has society come to?

Excuse me I need to fart.

The Movie Quiz
Pick Movie Titles that best answer the questions below:

Are you female or male: “Tank Girl”
Describe yourself: “Willie Wonka” ( Circa de Johhny Depp)
How do some people feel about you: “Overboard”
How do you feel about yourself: “Eternal Sunshine of the spotless mind”
Describe an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend: “Psycho”
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: “Home Alone”
Describe where you want to be: “China Moon”
Describe what you want to be “"Miss Congeniality"
Describe how you live: “It’s a mad, mad world.”
Describe how you love: “What Dreams May Come”
Desribe your friends: “Moulin Rouge”
Describe how an ex sees you: “Crash”
Describe how someone you dislike sees you: “She-Devil”
The greatest love of your life: “When Harry met Sally”
How do you feel at this point in your life: “Star Wars: Return of the Sith”

Saturday, July 16, 2005

Willie Wonka

I just got done seeing Willie Wonka! Johnny Depp is so Weird! But it was very Tim Burtonesque.

Hmmm--Random thoughts:

I really depise some of the people at my job. Jerri is a worthless tit. That is my father's line, but in this case it works. I AM the TEACHER...she is the pathetic, moody helper. Yet, when I give a direction or make a suggestion that she does not like, she stands back on her non-existant ass and does nothing. She is like 45--GROW THE HELL UP!!!!!!! I hate control freaks. However, the other day I totally stirred the pot and told her this one chick was pissed off at her for going to management and getting the other girl in trouble. Ooooh, was she pissed. It was funny. Inside I laughed. I am evil; but I am cute

The Song Quiz
Pick songs for the questions below:

Are you female or male: “Independent Woman” ( Alicia Keyes)
Describe yourself: “Crazy Train” ( Ozzy) & “I go to Extreems” ( Billy Joel)
How do some people feel about you: "The Joker” ( Steve Miller)
How do you feel about yourself: “I’m Sensitive” ( Jewel)
Describe an ex-girlfriend/boyfriend: “Creepy Crawling”
( Chumbawamba)
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend: “All by myself”
( Leo Sayer)
Describe where you want to be: “I love the nightlife.” ( Alicia Bridges)
Describe what you want to be: “Hot Stuff” ( Donna Summer)
Describe how you live: “Light as the Breeze” ( Billy Joel)
Describe how you love: “Come what may” ( Moulin Rouge)
Desribe your friends: Mary—“Survivor” ( Destiny’s Child) Kym—“Best Friend” ( Queen) Kevin—“ Dancing Queen” Peter—“The Rainbow Tour” ( Evita)
Describe how an ex sees you: “She Hates Me” ( Puddle of Mud)
Describe how someone you dislike sees you: “Fuck you and your cat” ( Gold Finger)
The greatest love of your life: “Seven Years” ( Natalie Merchant)
How do you feel at this point in your life: “Bring me life.” ( Evanescence)

Friday, July 15, 2005

Crazy kids

Have I mentioned how glad I will be to be gone from this hell with florescent lighting called, "Sundown M. Ranch?" I must admit I like the kids, I really do. Yes, most of them are psycho, I mean they ARE drug addicts, but they are funny and compassionate too. One girl told me she broke her finger while she was in bed. " I just woke up and it was broken!" I then learned she told this boy she has a crush on ( from ANACORTES, no less) that she was masturbating so hard thinking about him, that she broke her finger. I suppose I should have pity for her, but it is damn funny. Not quite as funny as the "ass sniffer" story, but still humerous in a sick way.

" Uh, miss teacher lady..why does it say Ass Sniffer on my folder?"
Is there something you are not telling us?

Numero uno!

Well, lookie what I made. My own little blog. Am I special or what? I really am you know. If you are reading this, you are either a friend, family memeber or have accidentally stumbled into the unknown. Run! Save yourself! I cannot be held accountable for the things I may say--because this is my damn blog.